Mentally I'm Here: Vol 1
A proper title for my roundup of various bits and bobs I've found interesting for the week.
On a personal note
Maybe it’s the changing of the seasons or the aligning of the planets, but I finally feel like I’m starting to hone in on my style. When I first turned 30 (I can’t believe I’m in my mid-30s by the way, a conversation for another day), I spent my time deeply reflecting on my sense of style (or lack thereof). I mulled over what it means to “dress your age.” Of course, there are a plethora of examples that show age is just a number (Tracee Ellis Ross being a fav), however, it has overtaken my thoughts. Regionality plays a factor as well. Your average Houstonian isn’t getting dressed in a way that mirrors that of the New Yorker, so often one can feel like an outsider. And this isn’t to say that people down south aren’t interested in fashion or aren’t stylish (we are literally tastemakers, ask ya momma). I’m merely pointing out the fact that the cities are different culturally. There are pockets around the town of like-minded, impeccably dressed individuals and one can for sure find their “people.” Perhaps I need to get out more (definitely do lol.)
This reflection sadly stifled my creativity. Can I put together a decent enough outfit? Sure. But for a while, I did not feel like anything was distinctly “me,” which I’m slowly figuring out for the umpteenth time. I keep telling myself this is about the journey, not the destination. Perhaps I’ll never fully come to a clear definition of “my style” and that’s perfectly fine. To accept that is another way in which I welcome my humanity. As I live, I’m meant to evolve over time and so will my tastes. This is where I’m at for now.
Any who, here are a couple of pieces of media that have helped shift my perspective on what it means to “dress my age”:
Sunnei SS25 Show - Along with the designer’s use of older models, Sunnei showcases youthful silhouettes on a vibrant color palette, playing with structure and volume along the way. These aren’t your grandma’s clothes, and if they are, mind if I raid her closet?!?
Advanced Style - This entire TikTok page is PURE GOLD ok? Seeing these ladies unapologetically show up as themselves well into their golden years is nothing short of inspiring. Putting that sh*t on doesn’t have a ceiling. As long as you feel it, do it. Be it.
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Reading
Women Who Run With Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D. - Call me easily influenced or naturally curious, either way I got influenced by the TikTok Girlies. Taken directly from the back cover, “Dr. Estes unfolds rich intercultural myths, fairy tales, and stories, many from her own family, in order to help women reconnect with the fierce, healthy, visionary attributes of this instinctual nature.” I do admit that the writing feels a bit dense (a marker of the time at which it was written), but three chapters in I’m finding it to be both insightful and inspiring. Will report back upon completion.
All About Love, New Vision- bell hooks - A beloved reread (this time around for a book club), but nevertheless still good. I highly recommend to any and everybody.
Watching
We Grown Now (2023)- THIS ONE HERE!! It just started streaming on Netflix and is more than worth the watch. The film is both beautiful and heartbreakingly evocative. Best friends Malik and Eric, navigate the day-to-day of life along with their families in the infamous Caprini Green projects of 1992 Chicago, Illinois. At the heart of this story is Black Boyhood (one of the best depictions since Moonlight, imo). Gorgeously executed, all the actors show up to WORK (When I tell you Jurnee Smolette puts on a Masterclass!) 10/10 for me. And also, we need more coming-of-age films for Black Americans, PLEASE AND THANK YOU!
In the Reality sphere, I’ve watched the season 2 opener of Real Housewives of New York as well as the first block of Love Is Blind Season 7.
While I found Season 1 of RHONY to be a refreshing take on the franchise, I fear that season 2 might fall victim to the same dullness that can only come from a combination of affluence and tone-deafness. It’s giving boring and out-of-touch. Then again, it’s only the first episode and I do love mess. I’m just here for Jenna Lyons.
I have to be honest, I fast-forwarded through a lot of the episodes of LIB. Once you’re familiar with the formula of the show, you’re able to pretty much predict the couplings. By the looks of the cliff hanger left on episode 6 and the teaser for part 2, it’s appears that we’re in for a wild ride. I wonder though, as the show continues, whether it’s for the good of it’s participants vs. the feeding into it’s audience’s insatiable hunger for drama. Season after season has to me that revealed that love is boring (except for Lauren and Cameron in Season 1), there’s nothing to gossip about when the love story is easy. But what do I know, there’s a whole industry of reality television created around finding partnership. It can’t all be this bad.
Listening
Doechii’s latest project, Alligator Bites Never Heal has been in rotation since it’s debut. It’s just too good.
We’re in the “Deluxe Edition” Era, with many artists including Willow Smith and Victoria Monet releasing expanded versions of their last projects. I’ve listened to both but honestly, the new songs have not resonated just yet. I still love their inital offerings though, don’t get it twisted. A second run is required.
Thee Sacred Souls just released their newest record, Got A Story to Tell, a project oozing with soulful velvety vocals and a distinct nostalgic sound reminiscent of Motown’s yesteryears (Think Marvin’s Gaye’s What’s Goin On era). Perfect to put on as the Sun sets, a glass of wine in hand cozied up next to your lover. Get into it.
That’s all for now. Until next time ya’ll.
With Love,
—Dani
All About Love is one of my favorite books! It is beyond insightful and lifechanging. I will always & forever recommend it to anybody on the self-love & self-awareness journey. Also, I started Women Who Run with Wolves too. Im looking forward to finishing it but I think Ill rotate it with other books im reading. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to Vol 2.