80 Comments
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Jamiya, the Writer's avatar

Failure simply mean you tried and that matters the most!! I enjoyed this because I also struggling with being perceived. Just the thought of being seen as something I'm not sends me into overdrive. It took guts to even share something as vulnerable as this and I can't wait to read more of your work. I know the creativity is flowing!

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Kenyah Nikol's avatar

Couldn’t have said this better myself as someone struggling to make the first post…

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Rachel Leeke Alexis's avatar

“However, I understand that I’ll never truly know until I at least try.

So here’s to trying, I guess.”

That part. We often build our wings as we fly. What matters is beginning.

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Flo's avatar

Beautiful assertions. From one writer to another, from one perfectionist to another, we’ve got to embrace the mess of the process. It’s the only way to produce. And produce fast. Or faster than we’re used to. Trust that the messy reps in will finds themselves in revision and process, you know? I am talking to myself here, too.

-Flo

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JoJasmin Raquel's avatar

I needed to hear this. Specifically to produce fast. I will have a thought or burst of creative energy and let it fizzle without notating it.

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𝐃𝐞𝐛𝐢 𝐀𝐧𝐠🥀's avatar

Thank you for writing this. First, hey Virgo😬I think we have similar brains🙃I have to remind myself often about “failure”…in truth I’ve never really failed at anything, because I’ve never given it a real try. It’s my own wariness of being perceived negatively that has impacted majority of my decisions. Even now, I have no likes and no subscribers I think: I’m failing. This has been a constant in my mine and I want to be released. So I’m going to keep writing and keep trying. Good luck to you sis🥰

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Dani's avatar

Thank you so much my Virgo sistren 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾 here’s to overcoming our perfectionism on day at a time!

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𝐃𝐞𝐛𝐢 𝐀𝐧𝐠🥀's avatar

New subscriber here :)

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Anonymous BLK Girl's avatar

This was very relatable. I feel the same push and pull. I should put myself out there, but what if what I'm producing isn't likable? But why should I care?

Because we want to be understood.

I feel you.

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Natahna Bargen-Lema's avatar

So happy to have found your writing. Cheers to being vulnerable and soft in this often hard world! <3

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Embracing Uba's avatar

You wrote what im sure many of us feel so eloquently. That you for sharing and being vulnerable. Your writing is beautiful and inspiring ✨️ keep going!

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Dani A.'s avatar

Read this because the title resonated even the smallest bit for me...I don't think I have a fear of being perceived, per se. 🤔 (I'm a true introvert, after all.) More than anything I think my desire to try all the things has often caused me to feel overwhelmed and so I simply DON'T which causes stagnation because choosing gives me heart palpitations. 😏

Restacked because, well...I too am a Dani. 😉

Here's too the journey! 🥂

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"Q"'s avatar

This may not be your experience, but for me, I had to put my phone down and go outside. Experience the beauty that is boredom. Literally wander around for three hours on a 4 acre plot of grass with a for sale sign on it. Practice seeing how long I could possibly take to write my name. The goal was to write my entire name without lifting my pen, pencil off the paper for an hour. Every day, I would try. For three weeks. I got up to seven minutes. For me, the scope of me got narrowed to a rectangle in my hand that has the grand illusion of coming off like I was watching the whole world. The façade suffocated my expression. Go outside, sis give it a try. Don’t take your phone with you. Practice slow. Go outside and be real.

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The Quiet Storm's avatar

This resonates entirely, I feel the exact same way.

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Ash's avatar

"What if no one likes this? Then again, if this is truly supposed to be something for me, why should I care what others think? I’d be lying to myself if outward validation didn’t matter at least a little bit to me."

Wow, it's like you were writing my own concerns and fears. But also, is it bad that we would like some external validation, even if we are doing it for ourselves? To me that validation cross the line into connection as well. So it makes me question, am I looking for external validation, or am I longing to be truly seen and form a genuine connection with others that feel the same way?

Keep writing and face that fear, because you are worthy of being seen and heard!

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Prayers and Cuss Words's avatar

I recently joined Substack and I’m still taking it all in. I’ve never had a heavy social media presence, but life has made it almost impossible to live quietly. This post felt like a mirror because perfectionism still lingers and I find myself being my own roadblock on this journey.

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Shay Hawkins's avatar

Dani! This gave me goosebumps a few times I had to remind myself this was not my own writing. To say I can relate in an understatement. I’m following and I look forward to reading more of your work!

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Jery Ruiz's avatar

As a dear Scorpio moon I felt you so deeply!!!! What a beautiful issue and what a beautiful mind you have

Can’t wait to read more from you

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Abby's avatar

As a fellow Virgo I also came here searching for a casual release, a place to share my thoughts I hoard in my Notes. But as soon as I signed up and started to read these beautiful, heartfelt essays and think pieces I wondered if what I had to say was important enough! The good news is you STARTED! We started! I don’t even have a real profile pic girl you’re doing great lol and your writing really resonates. I’ll share my mantra for the year Virgo to Virgo “progress>perfection” You’re not trying, you’re doing!

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Serrae's avatar

I'm glad you didn't let your fear hold you back, because this is beautiful! I wrote a poem about a similar feeling, and it can definitely be very scary. https://open.substack.com/pub/serraelillian/p/exposed?r=2utkmd&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

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